The Templars and Netrider youngins who were sent to the Taj Mahal year 1653 in order to collect water from the Ganges saw a black hole quickly forming above them. It was surrounded by a HUUUGE black cloud in the form of a T. So they all sat on the banks of the River and called out to Ancient Grandmother Tree who has roots there. “Grandma! Help!” they cried. “Get us outta here quick!”
AGT said “Calm down children. How fast can you hold hands?” So grasping each other’s hands they melded their hearts Taygeta then jumped into The River.
Immediately they found themselves in present day on one of the Trinity River Debris Booms (Debris Detention Device) – still holding hands and carrying their collections of water from the Ganges in their back-packs.
Smelly, tired and covered in Dallas debris, they disembarked from the boom and headed to The Alchemist’s Attellier.
“PEW!” said The Alchemist when they arrived. “Y’all stink to high heaven.” Then placing their water collections on his diamond-plate table, he pointed to the Sonic showers. “Go get yourselves cleaned up. Good job kids.” Then he gave them all alcohol and canibus credits and said “After you’re cleaned up, go celebrate. Drinks are on me. Smokeables are on Grandma.”
HE said: “Tell me a joke.” She said: “Ok, here’s one for you:
A sports trainer was visiting his grandmother’s apple orchard in Edmond, Kansas one day when he had to use the bathroom. There, amongst the trees was an outhouse which grandpa had erected. As he was leaving, he accidentally dropped a quarter into the hole.
Grandma was picking zucchini squash, corn, beans and cherry tomatoes when her grandson came out to complain to her: ‘I just dropped my 1967 quarter in your outhouse, grandma.’
Silently, she took her harvest to the porch and sat it down by the hand-cranked well pump. Then she grabbed an old tin pail and pumped fresh, cool water from the well into it. Removing her shoes, she thought to herself “this is going to be very refreshing” then she plunged her hot, overworked feet into the pail.
When she was properly rested, she took the produce into the house and grabbed her PRADA clutch purse. Still silent, she walked woefully to the outhouse while grandson looked on inquisitively. Horrified, he witnessed as she took a hundred out of her clutchpurse and threw it into the hole in the outhouse. Then she went in after it.
Grandson paced nervously, sweat pouring from his brow and praying to Heaven: ‘What have I done!!!’
Then Grandma emerged – covered in shit, holding the 1967 quarter and handed it back to the Sports Trainer.
‘Grandma! What possessed you to do such a thing?’
‘You didn’t expect me to go in there alone to get your shitty QuarterBack did you?'”
AnnaBell’s Revenge
Covered from head to toe in outhouse essence, Grandma hurried to the RainBarrel – full to the brim – at the NE corner of her house and plunged herself in. When she was cleaned off, she dumped the dirty water out into her yard, then putting her prayer bones to the grass, prayed for more rain.
After having done all, she stood up and went to her kitchen to make a baloney sandwich with Velveta cheese. Then she filled a shiny aluminum cup with fresh, cool well water.
Sitting there at her kitchen table, her eyes lit on the Prince Albert tobacco can containing a full deck of Bicycle playing cards and the Diamond matchsticks next to it.
“I wonder if my daughter Tanya is busy today. I think I’ll ring her up and see if she would like to come over and play Black Jack with matchsticks like we used to do” she mused to herself.
Taking her empty plate and cup to the sink, she thought: “I should see if I have any hash brownies around here. Tanya loves chocolate hash.”
So she walked over to her WE 317 magneto wall phone and asked the operator for BR 549.
“Miller Residence”
“Oh, hello LaSandra, good to hear your voice. I wonder if Tanya is home. I’d like to invite her over for some brownies and a game of Black Jack.”
“Tanya? Who’s that? I’m not aware of any Tanya. And by the way, who are you, and how do you know my name?”
Horrified, Grandma quickly hung up the phone and started weeping uncontrollably.
Joker looked up from his Louis Dearborn LaMoore paperback novel. The Kansas City Chiefs were playing the Cardinals on the tele. “What’s the trouble AnnaBell?”
“Tanya never came home last night” she answered as she choked back tears. “I know we were going shopping in Norton today, but I have something else to do. Let’s load up for a road trip in that Plymouth Fury you’re so proud of. For once, I won’t be telling you to slow down. Let’s put that lead foot of yours to work. I have to get to RENO by morning.”
The Chief appeared before Princess Amber of the Red Feather River people. Martis. He had Uranium One stains on his mouth zone and the flesh was dripping off his face exposing his teeth. But he had promised to meet his bride-to-be there and he was not about to disappoint her with his absence.
“I know that’s just a mask my Chief. I’m so glad you did not abandon me on your voyage to prepare a place for me in Las Vegas. Now remove that mask, so that I may kiss you.”
“Stand Back!” he exclaimed as he stepped away from her. “No it’s not. This was >>actually<< done to me by the daughters of the Mothers of Darkness in Las Vegas. I just needed you to see this.”
Author's note: BOtox. Here's what you won't learn on the wiki. Some batches of Botox were laced with Uranium. Anyone making a connection here to Uranium "won"? Anyone?
“I’ll see you on the next level.” He said as he began to slowly vanish. “But be aware. Some of the M.O.D.s are in a knitting group OFF Preston, OFF Webb Chapel. They meet frequently in one of Dewey Decimal’s Royal Houses which is not currently on the Rail System. They will attempt to knit traps for you. If they succeed with their plans, they will have you in many bird cages. Just smile, bless and keep knitting or crocheting or weaving. You may have to do alotta unraveling. But you have friends and family there to help you with the untangling. Fare thee well.”
Continued here
and here continued…
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